Dealing with Grief

Shannon Coulson
May 22
2 min read

Dealing with grief is one of the most painful and personal human experiences. Whether it's the loss of a loved one, a relationship, a pet, or even a major life change, grief can shake your sense of identity, security, and meaning. Here's a grounded and compassionate guide to help you understand and cope with it:

1. Understand That Grief is Not Linear

Grief doesn't follow a straight path or fixed timeline. People often experience stages like:

Denial: “This can’t be happening.”
Anger: “Why did this happen?”
Bargaining: “If only I had done something differently...”
Depression: A deep sadness, loneliness, or sense of hopelessness.
Acceptance: A quieter place where you begin to live with the loss.

You might move through these stages in any order—or revisit them many times.

2. Give Yourself Permission to Feel

Let yourself cry, be angry, feel numb, or even laugh.
There’s no “right” way to grieve. Your response is valid, even if it looks different from others’.
Suppressing emotion often delays healing.

3. Take Care of Your Body

Grief can be physically exhausting. You might:

Lose your appetite or overeat.
Struggle to sleep or want to sleep all the time.
Feel tension, fatigue, or pain.

Try to maintain small routines—eating something nourishing, moving your body, resting when you can.

4. Talk About It

Speak to someone you trust—a friend, family member, counselor, or support group.
Saying the words out loud can help you process your feelings and feel less alone.
Don’t be afraid to repeat yourself; grief often circles back on itself.

5. Hold Onto Connection

Find rituals or mementos that honor your loss: a photo, a letter, a daily candle.
Some find comfort in writing letters to the person they lost or journaling about their feelings.
Remember: You’re not trying to “move on” and forget—you’re learning how to carry the memory forward.

6. Expect Triggers

Anniversaries, songs, smells, or random moments can cause sudden waves of grief.
This is normal—even years later.
Be gentle with yourself when this happens.

7. Seek Help When Needed

If grief becomes overwhelming—like you can't function, you're stuck in despair, or you're having thoughts of self-harm—reach out to a therapist or support service.
Professional grief counseling can offer structure and tools to navigate it.

8. Allow Growth

Over time, grief may carve out a deeper sense of compassion, meaning, or clarity in your life.
You may not “get over it,” but many people learn to live with it, and even find new ways to feel joy again.